Projector to Projector: what I’ve learned from making mistakes in my Human Design Experiment

My Human Design type is 1/3 Emotional Projector - a 1/3 is an “Investigating martyr” which is a fancy way of saying I explore things deeply and make a lot of mistakes along the way as part of my learning process.

Projectors are special. Not only is our sacral chakra undefined, distinguishing us from the massive amounts of Generators who are running this World into the ground, we possess a lake-like aura that soothes and harmonizes the landscape around us. Our purpose on the planet is to guide the World towards being better.

But it’s hard to be a Projector. We’re very sensitive - the most sensitive of the types - and we are not equipped with the physical mechanics to keep up with the 9-5 daily grind/ 40-hour work-week. So we’re always kind of stuck between a rock & a hard place when it comes to having our needs met. Yet having our needs met is our journey, for living in alignment brings Projectors success and that’s the Human Design promise. The journey towards our success is NOT more & more & more work - in fact, most often, it’s less and less work and more play, more relaxation and more living to the beat of our own drum. If we define “success” as “well-being” and not a position on a corporate ladder or a number on a bank balance-sheet, Projectors find that success isn’t so far away at all.

Here’s some guidance to get you to success even faster:

(1)   Don’t give anyone your money unless they recognize you. 

(And you’ve followed your authority). Business coaches and empowerment gurus on the Internet LOVE to pray on Projectors, because Projectors have a natural thirst for knowledge and wisdom systems and we’re hardly ever demanding customers. However, most of those will be self-satisfied Manifesting Generators who are unaware that the methods they employ just are not designed for us. So many sad Projectors find themselves failing at the easy marketing techniques every snazzy business coach is selling these days. It’s because we’re not here to play a numbers game and we’re not here to be a number in somebody else’s success game.

Projectors are activated towards success through recognition and invitations. If you feel a coach truly sees you and what you’re about (and it’s not just scheming flattery to get you to sign up for something), you are more likely gain real benefit from what they have to offer. Projectors are designed to discern who are the right people to invite into our lives by the quality of recognition we receive. We know we are being recognized when the person inviting us uses language specific to who we are and by a feeling inside of being “lit up” in the recognition and invitation to join them. (And then we still need to follow our specific authority - if it’s emotional, that means waiting at least overnight before committing).

If you’re a Projector, create your own game to success. You are unique and you are here to guide others. You don’t need to play the Generator game. Do things your way, in a way that feels good to you. Let the World see you on your own terms. Have fun with social media. Build a website that stockpiles your wisdom collection. Start an artsy newsletter. Whatever! As long as it’s fun for you and allows you to create on your own timetable. Remember, whatever you are offering you deserve a premium price for it. Your perspective is rare and its wise and Generators need you. The one’s who are right for you will be attracted to you, will recognize for your gifts and will invite you to work with them. (And you can offer invitations too - that’s totally allowed!)

Sadly, I learned this lesson by investing in business coaching with a coach who didn’t recognize me. She didn’t even really like me. And I quickly ended up exhausted and bitter and further away from the success I was seeking than when I started with her. Luckily, I recognized the language my bitterness was speaking to me and I dropped that coach like a hot-potato and took a good, long, relaxing break…and then my inspiration and success started showing up.

(2)   You have to heal your traumas and dramas.

Your Human Design practice won’t heal your trauma and your trauma will distort your light in your Human Design.  Your trauma will keep you pinned to shadow frequencies and will block your gifts. Trauma gets stuck in the body and Human Design is about your body’s energy flow. If you think of your aura as a lake and bitterness - your not-self theme - as choppy, white-capped waves on the lake that make it hard to swim, then trauma is like having choppy waves on your lake that never die down. You’re just always a little a rough, a little agitated and a little off-putting to others. This will skew recognition, delay invitations and block you from success.  If you have trauma in your personal history or live with C-PTSD, prioritize healing it above all else, as trauma will bury you in shadow and block you from your gifts.  Our sensitive aura is designed to magnetize from our regulated emotional system and trauma in the body creates chronic dysregulation.  This will skew your aura towards bitterness.

If you are ready to start healing your trauma, here are my recommendations based on what’s worked for me:

• Read “The Body Keeps Score” by Bessel Van Der Kolk, he is the World’s leading trauma expert and this is his pivotal book on understanding and healing it.

• Do Yoga. In his book, Van Der Kolk discusses the best methods for healing trauma. Yoga is high on the list and it feels really good.

• Invest in a therapist who does EMDR (best if they recognize you!) My therapist did recognize me as we’d worked together in a Women’s Group in the past. She had me write a list of all my remembered traumatic incidents and bring them in and we EMDR’d each incident on the list. Healing one trauma using EMDR will reduce the intensity on all the traumas, so you’ll experience relief and improvement in your quality of life very quickly.

• Use the EFT Technique on the daily whenever your feathers get ruffled. It’s powerful and transformative and even if you’re in a public space, you can do this quickly in a bathroom stall. I use it for every little thing that gets on my nerves, from my fascination with prissy drag queens to my self-doubt about my true worth.

• For transforming difficult emotions into higher states of consciousness, I recommend this therapist’s work (also a Projector): https://www.adrianwalkerhall.com/

• And last, my personal favorite! https://crappychildhoodfairy.com/

This lesson was a painful one for me to learn. I’d been working with my trauma’s for years and thought I was in a good place (I’d even already done quite a bit of EMDR). Last summer was rough for me because I experienced a lot of loneliness. I’d read up enough on my Human Design to know that I am designed for relationship (as a split-definition Projector with the 37-40 Channel of Community as my Incarnation Cross). People just weren’t around for me. I’m single, I live alone - which I like, but I also like it when friends and flirts are close by. After an unfortunately triggering trip to see my parents, I realized I still had healing work to do and that’s when I started a new round of EMDR. Things have been flying in positive directions ever since!

(3)   Everything is better when you’re around (unless you’re bitter). 

Other types have a hard time acknowledging projectors sometimes because, like a flashlight, we shine so brightly to them they get freaked out.  But the reality is, as a Projector, you are buffering the vibrations all around you with your open sacral center and uplifting the atmosphere – so even if no one talks to you at the party – the party was a whole lot better because you were there. (Although Manifestors and Reflectors have open sacral centers as well, the buffering job belongs only to Projectors!)  Therefore, recognize in yourself the super-power you have and chose carefully whom you’d like to bestow that gift upon.  If you’re hanging out in spaces where you’re ignored, see it as an invitation to find a new group of people to be with – people who recognize you and relish in the light you bring.

Sadly, relationships that don’t work out and leave Projectors feeling bitter are usually much harder for the Projector to untangle than the other person. This is because our penetrative aura is easily entangled in the energy of another & it can be hard to shake - so choose carefully who you let into your life. Make sure they recognize you before you accept an invitation to connect or before you hand your heart over in a new crush.

I stopped going to Legacy Nightclub because I couldn’t hack the 90-minute each way drive to Boston without being invited by host, Violencia - and thus receiving her energy (because she started dating somebody new and forgot that we were friends). Finally though, it was announced that Jaida Essence Hall - one of my top 5 Favorite Queens - was performing there so I made the effort. My friend Quinnsleigh was working the door and she said the club night just was never quite as fun as when I was there and I was sadly missed by all the staff. This shining recognition sent my heart a-flutter! 💕

(4)   Allow other people’s energy to betray them to you. 

You, Projector, are designed to assess people by the quality of their energy – it’s your super-power!  When somebody’s energy feels “off” to you – trust that instinct, even if they have all the pretty words.  It may not happen right away, but sooner or later that person will display their true-colors and that “off” energy you perceived will prove to have been the red flag you needed. When the vibe is off with someone, get away before you’re too involved. You have too much to lose in getting entangled in somebody else’s bad mojo.

I’ve learned this one time and time again, but the classic example is a hugely famous witchy life coach I worked with for several years several years ago. Something was off with her. I had a one on one meeting scheduled and she rescheduled at the last minute like three times before we finally had our meeting. Then I started noticing this arrogant “looking down my nose at you” tone in her voice. Then she relayed a story of how she was short on grocery money so she conned a loyal client into a buying a spur-of-the-moment overpriced BS coaching package. Then it was revealed via the Internet that her local community had “outed” her as a white supremacist ….And that’s where I got off of her boat. That vibe I picked up on early on was on point!

That’s what I’ve got for you so far! No doubt I will make more mistakes to learn from as I am a 1-3 and that’s what I am designed to do. When I do, I will add them to this post or write another one.

I invite you to comment or send me a message at let me know what mistakes you’ve learned from on your Human Design journey!